Saturday, January 28, 2017

What Is Your Fear ?



I am claustrophobic.

Claustrophobia is an anxiety disorder in which the sufferer has an irrational fear of having no escape or being closed-in. It frequently results in a panic attack and can be triggered by a lot of things.

It is not necessarily the small spaces that trigger the anxiety but the fear of what can happen to the person if confined to that area. Some things that trigger anxiety issues with me are:

Elevators, tunnels, basements or underground rooms and spaces, movie theatres, subway trains, hotel rooms with windows that do not open, public toilets and in some cases medical devices like MRI scanners etc.

It is not being in a small space that bothers me – it is being effectively trapped in that space that leaves me feeling breathless. I hate elevators. That terrifying moment between the elevator stopping and the doors opening feels like forever to me. I feel like I can't breathe when I am in an enclosed area. The fear of being enclosed or stuck up in any place with no easy escape triggers a panic attack in me. If I am in a room and there are too many people, I start to feel the beginnings of it. Crowded stores are one of the worst for me. I often have to step outside. Feeling held down or contained in any way triggers it instantly.

It is difficult for people without this affliction to even begin to understand this condition. There have been so many instances where I have been ridiculed when I take the stairs instead of the elevator or when I check the hotel room that I am to stay in for windows that open out to a balcony.

We all have a phobia or two in life. Some fear the water, others heights etc. but I feel we should be more tolerant towards those people.

What is your fear ?

Friday, January 27, 2017

Circle of Life



Life is a circle
We all eventually end up 
At the point we started from
Sometimes together
And sometimes alone
Sometimes In parts 
And other times as whole
Be it as dead
Or very much alive
But return we do
Eventually ending up
At the point we started from
Life is a circle

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Perfect Synchronization



She lives alone
In her tower of Solitude
Speaking only in 
Soliloquy...
While I perform
Each and every day
In this meaningless act 
That we call life...
Each playing a game
Of hide and seek
With the other
Yet in perfect
Synchronization exist
My alter ego 
And I

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Indifference



All those feelings that went unexpressed
All the words that were left unsaid
Desires that remained unfulfilled
All that we could have had
If not for your  
Indifference 

© Copyright Renu Vyas



अब तक दिल-ए-खुशफ़हम को हैं तुझ से उम्मीदें
ये आखिरी शम्में भी बुझाने के लिये आ...

रंजिश ही सही दिल ही दुखाने के लिए आ
आ फिर से मुझे छोड़ के जाने के लिये आ

(अहमद फ़राज़)



Saturday, January 07, 2017

All That Was Mine...




Where ever I may go in life
And whatever I may see;
The thought that always haunts me is
Do you still remember me ?

In all the crowds surrounding you
Do you search for my face ?
Though it never truly was beautiful
Nor held any poetic grace

Do you too ever hide some tears
And grieve for what we lost ?
Or do you ever sit and wonder
What your absence may have caused

Do you sift through memories
Of all the times we shared
Whenever you go by a temple
Do you offer for me a prayer ?

Do you look through the letters I wrote
And notice the words left unsaid
Or do those words hold no meaning to you
And the emotions already dead 

Do you miss the way I listened
To all you ever had to say
Or do you remember the urge you had
To hear me each night and day

 I wish you would return to me
Each emotion I shared with you
My dreams, my love, my every smile
So that I may forget you too  

© Copyright Renu Vyas

मेरा कुछ सामान तुम्हारे पास पड़ा है ... सावन के कुछ भीगे भीगे दिन रखे हैं
और मेरे एक खत में लिपटी रात पड़ी है....वो रात भुला दो, मेरा वो सामान लौटा दो .....



Monday, January 02, 2017

My Shadow



It follows me around
Day and night
Sometimes it is visible
Other times out of sight

A silent spectator
Of all that I do
It haunts, it stalks
Keeps an eye on me too

Never utters a word
Nor does it judge me
Like the unseen conscious
It follows silently

Sometimes it scares me
As it looms dark and large
Appearing, disappearing
Vivid and stark

Yet sometimes reassures me
Its presence like a friend
That shares life’s ups and downs
And remains till the very end

© Copyright Renu Vyas

 
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