Lost Dreams

Eyes gaze out of the window

Heart in a perpetual wait

Of a lost dream to come back home

© Renu Vyas 

Meant For The Sidelines

"Who am I ?"

This is one question we all ask ourselves from time to time. We are never the same. Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. And yet, there are some things that remain the same, constant.

I am more tolerant of people now than I was earlier. I have learnt to hear more than I speak. I have learnt to be more careful with my emotions. I am better able to hide my pain behind smiles and conversations.

What has not changed is that I am still very much an introvert. I am the type of person who when is present, the presence will not be acknowledged and in absence, the absence will not be felt.

I am a person that one's peripheral vision can see, but never really notice because people mostly focus on the center, on what is in front of them. I will never be the person in the center.

I am meant for the sidelines.

Musings

I used to love life in the countryside. I loved solitude. And yet..I now prefer to stay in the city. The sound of the traffic, the noise and the glow of lights are a constant reminder to me of life in continuous motion. They keep my mind engaged, distracted. They leave no space to think.

The silence of the countryside, the solitude, scares me. It allows me to hear my own thoughts far too much.

So yes, I still do love the countryside..and yet...

Garden Of Words

I have a beautiful garden

In my mind, and my heart

I plant all my words there

Some complete, some at start

Some are totally random

While others are rehearsed

I tend to them all lovingly

Day and night they are nursed

I pour on them, all of my love

And sprinkle a little of my pain

I Add some tender feelings too

And my tears on them I rain

And finally there comes a time

When the garden is in bloom

Rich, vibrant thoughts adorn it

And some beautiful verses too

I pluck some softly, tenderly

Mix them in my emotional jar

Some turn out as beautiful

poetry

And some remain as memoirs...

Copyright Renu Vyas

Walls

The walls that my heart built

Are my safety, protection

And my prison too

Copyright Renu Vyas

Love At First Sound

I don't exactly remember when or how it happened.
I grew up abroad and I would visit my hometown in the holidays. It was then that I first heard of the radio show "Binaca Geet mala". I remember that countdown of songs..and how I fell in love with a voice. There is a saying in English -  love at first sight, but mine was love at first sound. I totally, irrevocably, fell in love with Ameen Sayani 's mesmerizing voice.

I remember how I'd rush to complete my school homework, get all that was required of me done..just so that I would be free for the show. I remember the excitement of hearing a favorite song on the popularity chart, the disappointment of another not making it..the way how Sayani Sahab's voice made  each song special..every song had a mood, a character, and a life of it's own..

Some songs brought that soft smile on my face..while my imagination took me to places, and near people I dreamt about.. while some left my eyes moist. Than there were those that made me yearn and ache for that which I had never had or even experienced..and yet I felt that acute loss..a void unexplained.

The radio show and Sayani Sahab's voice enriched my teenage years and laid a solid foundation for love of music that has only grown with the years..the show may be off air..but it lives on in my heart and memories..and to this day my love for that voice continues..

Love

A comfortable silence that needs no words

A wink across a crowded room

The art of being in love

Copyright Renu Vyas

Frozen In Time

I am

Scraps of paper 

Filled with unfinished notes 

And forgotten doodles

I am

Half cups of coffee

Cold and discarded

Over intense conversations

I am

Unflicked grey ash

Hanging precariously

From half smoked cigarette butts

I am

The lonely bookmark

Found between pages

Of books once read, loved

I am

That quiet moment 

Forever frozen in time

Preserved for a lifetime

Copyright Renu Vyas

Sepia Coloured Life

Dried flowers hidden between the pages of old books, sepia colored photographs, gramophone records, Mehdi Hassan's soft voice, Amin Sayani and Binaca Geetmala, crisp cotton saris, the familiar smell of Ponds talcum powder, rooh afza, and  the luxury of being in touch with myself..the uncluttered, simple life.

A massive wave of nostalgia...