Paper Existence

I am all the words

That reside in my poetry

Come, embrace my paper existence 

© Copyright Renu Vyas

बस यूँही.....

कभी कभी दिल चाहता है,

 यूँ'ही कोई क़रीब आये

 न कोई सवाल पूछे, न ज़वाब मांगे

 बस  बिना कोई वजह यूँही

सर पर हाथ रख के कहे

 "सब ठीक हो जायेगा....."

Just Like That

 Sometimes, all you want 

Is for someone to be there

No questions asked

 No judgments passed

To just put their hand on your head

 And say in that caring tone

"Everything will be alright.."

Pain & Poetry

There is a pain hidden

In every poem that I write

And there is a poem hidden

In every pain that I feel...

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Canyons Of Past

I am like a meandering river

That flows through

The canyons of my past.

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Drowning In Poetry

I would rather spill ink

Instead of tears

And drown in poetry

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Voice Of Silence

Amidst all the hustle and bustle around

I overheard today

The voice of silence in the crowd 

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Memories

“Meine shayad tumhe pehle bhi kahin dekha hai…”  croons Mohammed Rafi softly in his melodious voice on the radio. I stop and stare at the radio. Waves of inexplicable nostalgia wash over me.  I haven’t heard this song in years and suddenly I am overcome with a torrent of memories. It is like a flashback of a different place and a different time.

Some songs when heard after a long, trigger such vivid memories that transport us back in time. They bring back emotions long buried beneath the debris of our everyday life. It is as if they are entwined with memories of certain people, places and seasons. Some songs bring a smile while others make us shed a tear quietly. Such is the power of songs and music.

What songs bring back emotions from your past ? Has a song ever caught you off guard and brought back a tidal wave of memories ?

Cloak of Anonymity

Leaving behind cacophony of life

I reach out and embrace peace, solitude

A welcome cloak of anonymity

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Dear Time...

Dear time, stop for a while

Let me revel in my today

And with my past reconcile

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Closure

The fragments that you left behind

Of a once shared day-to-day life

I gather and store all bit by bit

Yet they still hurt like splinters in feet

© Copyright Renu Vyas

New Beginnings

Standing quietly in the rain

Letting words wash off pages

Turning blank the book called "Me"

An urge to re-write life

© Copyright Renu Vyas

कुछ सुन्दर यादें मेरे बचपन की ....

कुछ सुन्दर यादें मेरे बचपन की...



वो गर्मीयों की छुट्टियाँ। वो पानी छिड़क कर ठण्डी की हुई गर्म छत की सौंधी खुशबू, घर के सारे लोग और तारों की छाँव, वो रात का खाना छत पे खाना, खाने में मोगर रोटी और कैर के आचार का होना... खाटें लाइन में लगाना फिर देर रात तक फुसफुसा कर बातें करना। रेडियो पर हवा महल, बिनाका गीतमाला सुनना ।

वो गली के नुक्कड़ से चवन्नी का बर्फ लाकर शरबत बना कर पीना,
कोट पीस/चौकड़ी खेलना...किराये की साइकल को बारी बारी चलाना और वो साइकल की चेन का बार बार उतर जाना...

वो माँ/दादी का स्वेटर बुनते वक़्त पास बुला के नाप लेना, और दिवाली पे नए कपड़ो का आना..वो बड़े बुज़ुर्गों का पटाखों के हिस्से करना और वो एक एक पटाखे के लिए लड़ना झगड़ना ...

माँ का नारियल तेल को धूप में रखना और फिर सर में लगा के दो चोटी बनाना, बुआ का उस चोटी के लिए रंगीन रिबन लाना..

कुछ सुन्दर यादें मेरे बचपन की ....

Happy Wedding Anniversary Dear Husband

Seeing your face first in the morning

And at the day's end, each night

Gives much warmth to my heart

And brings so much delight

You're my motivation and inspiration

And everything in between

You're the reason for my sun to shine

With you around I feel like a queen

You have not just been a husband

You've been my guide and friend

This beautiful life we share

I pray just never ends

You've supported me in all I wished

Without you I know not where I'd be

Your presence in my life

Completes and fulfills me

So thank you dear husband

For being my life's best part

I pray with all of my love

That we will never be apart

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Tick..Tock..Tick..Tock

Tick tock......tick tock…...

Ticks on my internal clock

Tick tock….tick tock……..

Nothing makes it stop

Tick tock…tick tock…

How annoying is the sound,

Tick tock…tick tock…

I wish time would turn around

Tick tock…tick tock…

Memories flash before my eyes

Tick tock…tick tock…

I wonder at how time flies   

Tick tock…tick tock…

It takes all my years and days

Tick tock…tick tock…

Hazy moments are all that stay

 Tick tock…tick tock…

Will I get to say a final goodbye

Tick tock…tick tock…

Or will I just fade away and die 

Tick tock…tick tock…

 I’ll remain a name in the past

Tick tock…tick tock…

A mere speck in a world so vast

Tick tock…..tick tock….

Ticks on my internal clock

Tick tock….tick tock…..

I just wish it would finally stop

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Finally In My Fifties !

I turned 50 recently. Somehow it felt like I had reached an unseen milestone in my life..and yet, I sit here and think, what actually did I achieve in all these years ?

I had a great many responsibilities bestowed upon me right from the age of 17.  I have no complains. I have had my share of happiness too but my role in life and the responsibilities that came with it had me grow up too fast, too soon. Being considered an adult at just 17 meant life was filled with commitments and responsibilities, and these demands often left me feeling weary and stressed out.

But now that I’m 50, I’m free of most of those responsibilities. My children are grown up and Hubby and I have a lot of time on our hands. I always used to think that being fifty would make me feel old and a lot of people DO tell me that I’m getting old, I certainly don’t feel it.

I feel fifty is a comfortable age to be in. It’s neither young nor old. Yes, I’m no longer young but then I’m also over those tiresome 20s 30s and 40s where one worries about one’s actions, appearance and presentation. 50s is the time where you become comfortable with what you really are. You stop trying to please others all the time. You can start living for yourself and do what you like, however childish, silly or stupid it may seem to another.

So what is it that I would love to do now that I’m 50 ? Oh nothing great like studying rocket science trust me ! Here is a list of all that I wish to do now.

Laugh out loud if I feel like it at every silly joke that I enjoy instead of that delicate soft smile/laugh that ladies are always expected to indulge in.

Be impulsive. If I feel like a pizza, ice-cream, samosa or any such thing I will eat one ! I will dress up the way I want and when I want ! (yes that includes wearing pink !) If I feel like singing a song sitting behind Hubby on his bike I will sing and not worry about those passing by ! A small jig when I hear a good news would be great too !

Talk nonsense. Yes well I’ve had my share of the so called intelligent conversations and polite small talks that bored me to death. I am entitled to talk nonsense. It can be fun (for me at least and that’s all that matters right now).

Maybe I will stop avoiding puddles on the road ? I always wanted to go splash in them so why not !

Eat out of the box or jar without anyone telling me its not proper.

Stamp my feet in anger when I don’t like something ! (I have always wanted to do that but just never got around to it yet).

Cant think of anything else for now. Anyone got any other ideas or suggestions ? Hehe :P

Inner Voice

Listen to your inner voice

And do what it tells you they all said.

How do I explain to them

There lives a whole society in my head.

© Copyright Renu Vyas

जब कि तुझ बिन नहीं कोई मौजूद

फिर ये हंगामा ऐ ख़ुदा क्या है..

Mirza Ghalib

The Unwritten Postcards

All those places we visited

Through our conversations

And all the beautiful sights we saw

Through our shared dreams

I have a colourful postcard

For every place we’ve never been

Hundreds of postcards

And a few dozen unwritten letters

All stored away safely

In the dusty drawers of my mind

I take them out sometimes

And breathe in that smell of yours

Which was never there

To give myself a reason to breathe

As I imagine us once again

At all those places we never went

And to envelop myself 

In a comforting, yet false relief

© Copyright Renu Vyas

What Is Your Fear ?

I am claustrophobic.

Claustrophobia is an anxiety disorder in which the sufferer has an irrational fear of having no escape or being closed-in. It frequently results in a panic attack and can be triggered by a lot of things.

It is not necessarily the small spaces that trigger the anxiety but the fear of what can happen to the person if confined to that area. Some things that trigger anxiety issues with me are:

Elevators, tunnels, basements or underground rooms and spaces, movie theatres, subway trains, hotel rooms with windows that do not open, public toilets and in some cases medical devices like MRI scanners etc.

It is not being in a small space that bothers me – it is being effectively trapped in that space that leaves me feeling breathless. I hate elevators. That terrifying moment between the elevator stopping and the doors opening feels like forever to me. I feel like I can't breathe when I am in an enclosed area. The fear of being enclosed or stuck up in any place with no easy escape triggers a panic attack in me. If I am in a room and there are too many people, I start to feel the beginnings of it. Crowded stores are one of the worst for me. I often have to step outside. Feeling held down or contained in any way triggers it instantly.

It is difficult for people without this affliction to even begin to understand this condition. There have been so many instances where I have been ridiculed when I take the stairs instead of the elevator or when I check the hotel room that I am to stay in for windows that open out to a balcony.

We all have a phobia or two in life. Some fear the water, others heights etc. but I feel we should be more tolerant towards those people.

What is your fear ?

Circle of Life

Life is a circle

We all eventually end up 

At the point we started from

Sometimes together

And sometimes alone

Sometimes In parts 

And other times as whole

Be it as dead

Or very much alive

But return we do

Eventually ending up

At the point we started from

Life is a circle

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Perfect Synchronization

She lives alone

In her tower of Solitude

Speaking only in 

Soliloquy...

While I perform

Each and every day

In this meaningless act 

That we call life...

Each playing a game

Of hide and seek

With the other

Yet in perfect

Synchronization exist

My alter ego 

And I

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Indifference

All those feelings that went unexpressed

All the words that were left unsaid

Desires that remained unfulfilled

All that we could have had

If not for your  

Indifference 

© Copyright Renu Vyas

अब तक दिल-ए-खुशफ़हम को हैं तुझ से उम्मीदें

ये आखिरी शम्में भी बुझाने के लिये आ...

(अहमद फ़राज़)

All That Was Mine...

Where ever I may go in life

And whatever I may see;

The thought that always haunts me is

Do you still remember me ?

In all the crowds surrounding you

Do you search for my face ?

Though it never truly was beautiful

Nor held any poetic grace

Do you too ever hide some tears

And grieve for what we lost ?

Or do you ever sit and wonder

What your absence may have caused

Do you sift through memories

Of all the times we shared

Whenever you go by a temple

Do you offer for me a prayer ?

Do you look through the letters I wrote

And notice the words left unsaid

Or do those words hold no meaning to you

And the emotions already dead 

Do you miss the way I listened

To all you ever had to say

Or do you remember the urge you had

To hear me each night and day

 I wish you would return to me

Each emotion I shared with you

My dreams, my love, my every smile

So that I may forget you too  

© Copyright Renu Vyas

मेरा कुछ सामान तुम्हारे पास पड़ा है ... सावन के कुछ भीगे भीगे दिन रखे हैं

और मेरे एक खत में लिपटी रात पड़ी है....वो रात भुला दो, मेरा वो सामान लौटा दो .....

- Gulzar

My Shadow

It follows me around

Day and night

Sometimes it is visible

Other times out of sight

A silent spectator

Of all that I do

It haunts, it stalks

Keeps an eye on me too

Never utters a word

Nor does it judge me

Like the unseen conscious

It follows silently

Sometimes it scares me

As it looms dark and large

Appearing, disappearing

Vivid and stark

Yet sometimes reassures me

Its presence like a friend

That shares life’s ups and downs

And remains till the very end

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Acceptance

Life is like a puzzle. Sometimes it does not make sense and yet we are left with no other choice than to accept what it hands out to us gracefully, even when the pieces of the puzzle don’t fit.

Add to it the complexity of human relationships and you are left with an even bigger puzzle. I have realized that life seldom turns out the way we want it to. As I walked the path of life I learnt the hard truths that the world does not act as per my likes or dislikes, that no one is perfect, that life is not the bed of roses I grew up believing it was, that however much I may respect or love, it may not get reciprocated. I bear the scars and the pains.

And yet, life surprises me at times in the most beautiful ways possible. It makes me see and experience joy and beauty in the most unexpected of places. With age, I have learnt to accept my fate and stopped trying to change what is. No longer do I try to change the world and more importantly, I no longer try to change myself to please others.

I fully and completely accept myself and by doing so, I have gifted myself a beautiful emotional freedom. I am now able to connect the dots. The puzzles and confusions all start to make sense.

I revel in this new found state of acceptance and bliss.

Zindagi tere gham ne humein 

Rishte naye samjhaye 

Mile jo humein dhoop mein mile 

Chhav ke thande saaye…

- Gulzar

Emotions

Evoking new passions

And feelings sublime

He undresses my heart

One emotion at a time

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Broken Woman

Fate is but 

A fictional concept

And I

Merely a character

In a predestined story

A slave

To society’s rules

That slowly

And systematically

Breaks down

Day by day

My individuality

And spirit

And I

Tired of the fight

To break free 

Succumb

With a numb mind

And battered heart

 And embrace

The chains quietly…

One more win

One more soul

Sacrificed

At the alter

Of the society

© Copyright Renu Vyas

रंजिश ही सही..

There are some songs that cause you to pause, listen intently and to embrace. These are the songs that bring a tear to your eye, not because of their sadness, but because of the strong emotional resonance they evoke. Ranjish Hi Sahi, written by Ahmed Faraz and sung by Mehdi Hassan is one such Ghazal.

Music rises above all, be it religion, beliefs or borders, as does our affection for it. Mehdi Hassan was a great musician par excellence. His voice had a wonderful quality, and a uniqueness of its own.The beauty of his Ghazals is that one never tires of them. In fact, the more I hear them, the more they cast this hypnotic spell over me.

Today, as I sit and hear his Ghazal, his magical voice enchants and intoxicates me... gliding effortlessly over my senses, as my heart stays spellbound…experiencing a myriad of emotions from this level to that, like a flower bud that unravels and unfolds gently, layer after layer into a bloom....

रंजिश ही सही दिल ही दुखाने के लिए आ

आ फिर से मुझे छोड़ के जाने के लिये आ

अब तक दिल-ए-खुशफ़हम को हैं तुझ से उम्मीदें

ये आखिरी शम्में भी बुझाने के लिये आ

रंजिश ही सही...

इक उम्र से हूँ लज्ज़त-ए-गिरया से भी महरूम

ऐ राहत-ए-जां मुझको रुलाने के लिये आ

रंजिश ही सही...

कुछ तो मेरे पिन्दार-ए-मोहब्बत का भरम रख

तू भी तो कभी मुझ को मनाने के लिये आ

रंजिश ही सही...

माना के मोहब्बत का छुपाना है मोहब्बत

चुपके से किसी रोज़ जताने के लिए आ

रंजिश ही सही...

जैसे तुम्हें आते हैं ना आने के बहाने

ऐसे ही किसी रोज़ न जाने के लिए आ

रंजिश ही सही...

पहले से मरासिम ना सही फिर भी कभी तो

रस्म-ओ-रहे दुनिया ही निभाने के लिये आ

रंजिश ही सही...

किस किस को बताएँगे जुदाई का सबब हम

तू मुझ से खफा है तो ज़माने के लिये आ

रंजिश ही सही...

Simple Joys of Life

Early morning is my very own unique, calm time. Hubby and I are both early risers. For us, it is the time when we enjoy our first cup of tea while the world outside dozes.

This first cup of tea is made by hubby, always. For us, it is not just about making tea but it is a ritual. It is the best part of the day for us, the time when we get to spend a half hour of quality time together before the chaos of life takes over. This special time makes a difference and gives us both that positive kick we all need, to get through the day.

The whole process of making that first cup of tea, though it may seem a simple act to some, is awesome for us. That faint sound of the brewing tea, the freshly ground ginger that he adds to it, the heavenly smell, the warming of my hands on that cup, and finally the hot tea soothing my throat accompanied by soft quiet conversation is an experience in itself. And yes, there are times when we don’t need the conversations too. After 32 years of togetherness we are perfectly tuned to each other’s silence and comfortable with it. Just the joy of sharing that half hour together over tea is important for us.

For me, this first cup of tea is a time to reflect. It is a patience, a meditation and a celebration.

déjà vu

Sometimes we visit certain places we have never been to in our life, and yet we get this nagging feeling that we have been there before. We remember certain routes or turns, doors or windows or other details and it leaves us feeling anxious, nervous, uneasy or at times as if we belong there.

I think that perhaps once a person dies he or she is reborn as new person. God wipes out our memory so we know only of our present life. Sometimes I get such a strong sense of familiarity or déjà vu  that it makes me think that maybe it's a memory of a past life that God forgot to erase and it's seeping in through the cracks.

There have been certain places where the feeling of déjà vu overwhelmed me.  A sensation that this has happened before overpowered me in its realness. Though at the time I wasn't prepared to mull over any genuine philosophical or profound meanings, now I feel that maybe it wasn't just my brain playing games on me but my spirit or soul recalling from a past life.

Sometimes I wake up from sleep with a deep sense of longing. An obscure, undefined sense of longing. I find myself wishing I could go home, and an unknown sadness fills me knowing that I'm longing for a place that does not exist. But somehow I know it is real, it is where I belong, but where exactly is that home or place ? I already have a beautiful home be it my parents place or my hubby’s. I have had a wonderful childhood and a good life for which I am eternally grateful, and yet in my subconscious is that unknown place.

All my life I've felt as though there was something more, a bigger picture, something humanity just wasn't understanding. I wish we could dig up our past lives from the vast unexplored regions of our mind.

Simple Definition of déjà vu by Merriam-Webster
"The feeling that you have already experienced something that is actually happening for the first time, something that has happened many times before, something that is very familiar.
The illusion of remembering scenes and events when experienced for the first time, a feeling that one has seen or heard something before."

The Agony of Saas Bahu Sagas

I know I have written about this before but I could not resist doing so again.

There was a time when one could turn on the TV and enjoy a good show like Waghle Ki Duniya, Malgudi Days, Nukkad and the likes, alas, people like Ekta Kapoor have ruined the fundamentals of TV viewing.

TV shows these days are so far away from reality. I have nothing against family dramas but at least there should be something one could relate to. They are so disconnected to reality. There are joint families living in houses so big they would put Ambani’s Antillia to shame. Moreover, most of these places are named “Shanti Niwas” and yet they are the least peaceful places on earth.

All the men are billionaires and yet one never sees them working (or taking any family decisions for that matter. That part is left entirely to ladies). The rare times they do go to office is to call a meeting and give power point presentations (yes trust me they will discuss ALL projects on PPTs). These successful businessmen can be duped easily by a rival in which case they lose all their money, property etc etc and with the help of their womenfolk regain them back eventually.

It is mandatory for either the mother-in-law or the daughter-in-law to be evil. If the mother-in-law is evil, her daughter, son-in-law, brother and sister will live with her and assist her in all the plotting. If the daughter-in-law is the villain then her mother, brother, sister etc. will live with her and do the same. I guess they have more rooms in their house than The Taj Hotel.

The lead characters will marry more than once and have children from more than one partner. The families will be deeply religious and light “diyas” morning and evening each day. If god forbid one day the diya extinguishes, the husband is hospitalised or will be no more. But one need not worry, eventually those who pass away do come back with a new face, a different height, weight, complexion and voice (I guess plastic surgery can do more wonders than I knew of). Of course, those who don’t die may suffer from amnesia or coma or some such medical condition. Bottom line is they DO comeback and NOONE really ever dies (beats The Walking Dead doesn't it ?).

When you are absolutely sure the show has covered it all and has nothing new to show, there will be a leap of 10-20 year. The characters will still look the same in appearance, and the only way to distinguish between the older and the younger generation will be the spectacles. Henceforth, the whole drama will begin all over again.

And lately, the “daayans”, the “pisaachinees”and the “nagins”have entered the whole saas-bahu saga. You have a lead female character turn into a fly, another fighting the “kaali shaktis”with taaveez, trishool, bhasms etc. and people visiting tantriks frequently for this or that.

I sit and wonder, where is the likeability factor in such shows ? I honestly don’t believe any person with a logical mind would want to see such stuff. These shows cater to people who cannot use their time effectively (yes I’m aware of the brickbats coming my way).

Spider Webs

Memories

Are like spider webs

Delicate, fine strands

All interlinked…

For every strand

You break away

A few more remain

Linking to the part

You are out to destroy…

Never to be erased

They remain hidden

Dormant

Like a spider web

That hangs

In a forgotten corner

Of your mind and heart

Waiting patiently

To be called forth

Or to come out

In the form of 

A flood of emotions

Unleashed, unexpectedly

On an unsuspecting

Heart and soul

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Bonfire

Frozen winter nights

Warming my hands

Memories burnt

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Eternal Love

Caressing tenderly, lovingly

He shares the highlights of his day

Sitting by his wife’s grave

© Copyright Renu Vyas

बाजरे के खेतों में...

रात कट जायेगी तो कैसे दिन बिताएंगे 

बाजरे के खेतों में कौवे उड़ायेंगे....

थोड़ी सी ज़मीं थोड़ा आसमां 

तिनकों का बस एक आशियाँ ....

Connecting with nature...bliss :)

My Little Piyu

I wrote this poem for my grandchild Avni (Piyu). She is a gift from the heavens above, a perfect example of God's true love.

A pretty cute little angel

Came from the heavens above

brought abundance of happiness

And filled my heart with Love

Her parents named her Avni

But for me she is my little Piyu

Her innocent sweet looks charm me

She is as pure as the morning dew

Her beautiful smile warms my heart

As do those mesmerizing eyes

God sent her to be cherished and loved

She is a blessing in disguise

I cuddle and hold her in my arms

In awe I touch and tickle her toes

Her sweet baby smell overwhelms me

As I gently touch her cute little nose

She is my very own sunshine

That lights up my nights and days

As I rock her gently on my knees

She looks up in her endearing ways

Looking down at her I know this much

Her life and mine has just begun

So much I have to share with her

She’s a part of me, my little one

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Books

Stories and books

Are like passages and doors

That take me to places

I have never been before

Each one makes me wonder

What adventure in it awaits

Between the two covers

I step through its golden gates 

Some characters along the way

Become my new friends

I travel with them

On different paths and bends

 Some of them captivate me

With their rhythm and rhyme

They make me experience

Wonderful magical times

Some make my heart heavy

And bring tears to my eyes

And yet they teach a lesson

That makes me more wise

As I travel through the pages

There is so much that I find

Beautiful worlds and places

And people of all kinds

In between the two covers

 I often curl up and hide

As I journey to exotic lands

Far out and wide

To some people a book maybe

Just pages and nothing grand

But to me it always is

That very special friend

So stories and books

Are like passages and doors

That take me to places

I have never been before

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Solitude and Silence

Sometimes, all the hustle and bustle of the world makes my head spin. The constant noise, people all around being part of the rat race to be at the top, the constant fear of others judging you or indulging in the niceties and etiquette set by the society.

It is at times like this when I like to slow everything down, shut everything off, and be alone with just my thoughts. I'm becoming a bit of a hermit lately. I love my solitude and I enjoy my own company. It is like living inside my head and I have to force myself to go outside.

It is not as if I do not enjoy company. I do. But I have never been very good at pretenses. I find it absurd when people adopt fake personalities and pretend to be who they are just to be liked or be appreciated more. How long can one keep up the pretense ? Sooner or later people will realize your truth.

And yes I am hopeless at small talk. I enjoy an honest intelligent conversation but I simply cannot make mindless small talk and it annoys me when I am forced to do so just because social customs dictate I should. Most people that I know are uncomfortable with silence. They need noise, or words to fill in the silence. The small talks, the random talks, the this-or-that-talks, they do not understand or appreciate the beauty of silence.

I feel that spending time with yourself in solitude, reflecting on all the things that really matter to you, enjoying your own company minus the noise, and the luxury of not being judged or defined by another is precious. It refreshes, nourishes and helps one's mental, physical and spiritual growth.

Dhoondoge Agar Mulkon Mulkon

Dhoondo Ge Agar Mulkon Mulkon. A beautiful Ghazal by Shaad Azeemabadi and sung by Abida Parveen. The words leave me speechless every time I hear it. The more I listen to this piece of art the more I fall in love with it. I am not sure whether this song can be categorized as a Sufi Song or a Ghazal, but there is no doubt in my mind about the Spirituality in the Song and the Lyrics.

It is the call of a lover to his beloved to join him, and eventually, the acceptance of a life without the loved one... and yet, he rejoices his love even in this estrangement. To be in such a state of mind is to experience the ultimate and purest state of love.

"Hum Mein Hain Dil-E-Betaab Nihan....Yah Aap Dil-E-Betaab Hain Hum"
Is a restless heart embeddded inside me or am I the restless heart itself..?

"Lakhon Hi Musafir Chalte Hain...Manzil tak pohunchte Hain Do Ik"
Millions of travelers walk this path..only a handful reach their destinations..

Aa Jao Jo Tum Ko Aana Ho....Aise Mein Abhi Shadaab Hain Hum"
Join me if you wish to.. I am in bliss and in peace with myself and one with the universe..

Each line a gem..posting the complete lyrics below for those who are interested :)

Dhoondo Ge Agar Mulkon Mulkon

Milne Ke Nahin Nayaab Hain Hum

Tabeer Hai Jiski Hasrat-0-Gham

Aye Humnafaso Woh Khwaab Hain Hum

Aye Dard Bata Kuch Tu Hi Pata

Ab Tak Yeh Mu’ammya Hal Na Hua

Hum Mein Hain Dil-E-Betaab Nihan

Ya Aap Dil-E-Betaab Hain Hum

Main Hairat-O-Hasrat Ka Maara

Khamosh Khada Hoon Sahil Par

Dariya-E-Mohabbat Kehta Hai

“Aa Kuch Bhi Nahin Payaab Hain Hum”

Lakhon Hi Musafir Chalte Hain

Manzil tak pohunchte Hain Do Ik

Aye Ahl-E-Zamana Qadr Karo

Nayaab Na Hon Kamyaab Hain Hum

Murghan-E-Qafas Ko Phoolon Ne

Aye Shaad Ye Kahla Bheja Hai

Aa Jao Jo Tum Ko Aana Ho

Aise Mein Abhi Shadaab Hain Hum

Words

Words are my enemies

And words are my friends

They give release to my thoughts

And they set down new trends

Sometimes they come easily to me

And sometimes they don’t 

At time they flow in rhyme and rhythm

And other times they just wont 

Some words can be cruel

Hurting more than a wound or scar

They make home in my mind and heart

Refusing to leave or stray far

Some words are loving and gentle

Giving warmth and happiness to my heart

They fill me with new hopes and dreams

And encourage me to a new start

Some words turn into metaphors

Giving new meaning to my thoughts

While others thrill and excite me

Creating fabulous stories, poems and plots

I dread the days words leave me

And I suffer from the writer’s block

I cajole, coerce, and plead with them

While in my blank mind they hide and mock

Laiyan Laiyan Mein Tere Naal Dholna

There are moments when we hear a song and it touches our heart. Laiyan laiyan song sung by Rizwan Anwar is one such song. The simplicity of the lyrics,  the soft soothing music, and the way the singer has sung it is all so beautiful.

The music does something to the heart, brings up emotions in an intense and beautiful way. It is filled with that sweet kind of longing that we all need to feel once in a while..

Laiyan laiyaaan main tere naal dholna

 Ik dil si ve rea mere kol na

Ve main lutti gayi

Dholna ve main lutti gayi

 Sadran de boohe ve main tere layi khole

Howin na tu kadi hun akhian to ohle

Tere naal tarna , tere naal dubna

Tere naal jeena , tere naal marna

Pyar mera tu takri ch tol na

 Ik dil c reha , mere kol na

Ve main lutti gayi

Dholna ve main lutti gayi

Perfection

The perfect poem

Is always, in my mind

The next one

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Off-season Memories

Old memories resurface

Like beautiful flowers

That blossom off-season

© Copyright Renu Vyas

I Am A River

Sometimes I flow smoothly

Tranquil, Gentle and kind

Spreading happiness around me

Leaving smiling faces behind

I flow with grace and charm

Making barren lands fertile

The children play by my banks

The tired sit and rest awhile

The poets gaze at my beauty

And write songs praising me

The lovers talk of my passion

To meet the vast blue sea

And yet at times I am restless

I flow in great fury and rage

Crushing all that comes in my path

Refusing to be stopped or caged

I pound at all that comes my way

I smash huge stones and rocks

In anger I flood cities and homes

I break down all that blocks

I create to destroy and destroy to create

For that is the role nature allotted me

I play out my role with all honesty

Until I reach the beloved sea

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Dream Weaving

 

Each night

The moon comes alive

Together he and I

Weave dreams

From the threads

Of my memories

And strands

Of my sleep

And each dawn

It fades and dies

Leaving behind

Unfinished 

Tangled knots

Of incomplete dreams

That linger all day

 In my eyes

Until the next night

When we both start 

All over again

This never ending game

Of birth and death

And senseless

Dream weaving… 

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Because I Am

I carved a niche for myself
And worked hard day and night
In the hope of being acknowledged
And to reach out to new heights

All I craved was appreciation
And a little bit of praise
But I forgot I lived in a man’s world
Where for me there was no space

I reached out to all around me
Seeking approval and some joy
But I was constantly overlooked
My hopes crushed and destroyed

The men would not applaud me
Nor would they ever recognize
“Her place is at home in the kitchen”
They wished I would realize

The women remained indifferent
And more misery to me they brought
“How dare she do what we could not?”
They fumed inside and thought

So I remained largely unnoticed
But I knew one day I would shine
My worth I will prove to one and all
And my identity I will define

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Street Child

Tattered clothes and a bruised face

And looking oh so lost and wild

Orphaned and abandoned by all

He is called merely a street child

He stands all day at the traffic signal

Running from this car window to that

Begging for a glance and a few coins

His small hands outwards spread

Most people shut their ears to his pleas

And others simply avert their eyes

 They sit in those air conditioned cars

That remain symbols of their pride

They do not take in his appearance

Nor hear his futile desperate cries

To avoid him they speed up and leave

Failing to notice his fear and fright

They speed up to warm meals at home

While he begs for little crumbs

No refuge, and without a shelter

He sleeps on footpaths and in slums

He wonders quietly why he got this life

Where he is treated like a rabid dog

Ignored, leading a loveless existence

Feeling like he is the society’s rot

So next time you’re at a traffic signal

Please do give him a tender glance

All he needs is a little love and help

And at life, just another chance

Trust me, just a little help and love

Will for him go a long long way

And that small smile on his face

Will definitely make your day

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Behind Closed Doors

Behind every closed door

Could be a story waiting to unfold

Of sighs that remained unheard

And words rarely spoken or told

There could be moments of laughter

And maybe many secrets kept

Fears, lies, happiness and smiles

And some tears silently wept 

Some people could have lived here

And lead awesome, amazing lives

Or maybe it was just a dismal place

That was full of sadness and cries

Whenever I gaze at a closed door

So much does my imagination see

I wonder if there’s a lost soul inside

Reaching out with its story for me

So yes, behind every closed door

Could be a story waiting to be told

All it needs is someone to unlock it

And to share, relive it, and unfold

© Copyright Renu Vyas

Never Judge A Book By Its Cover

Never judge a book

Merely by its cover

For you never know what inside it

You might just discover

The cover may look

Old and sometimes worn

The pages may have yellowed

And sometimes maybe torn

But many untold stories

The book may in it hold

That never have been heard

Nor ever before told

There may be characters

That become your friends

Who will stay with you

Forever till the end

There may be great plots

That keep you mesmerized

Captivating your heart

New emotions may arise

Treat it with respect

And give it a fair chance

Don’t judge it by its looks

Or make opinions in advance

Remember that the words 

Are a writer’s sincere attempt

Do not be so harsh

As to treat it with contempt

So never judge a book

Merely by its cover

For you never know what inside it

You might just discover

© Copyright Renu Vyas